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09:43 pm
[Link] | I love you...girl with the dead on her mind....I love you again and agian until you understand......I want to infold you unto my heart keep you inside...safe from the stressors that surround you...I see you and you are beauty....you are intelligence...you are an actress unparalleled....you are going to kill me for writing this....Each moment I spend with you lasts an eternity in my heart...I am there, here, everywhere...for you....ready to center you....coddle...love...hold...calm...quench your qualms and quieries....let me...let me do this....let me breath into you the air you need soo dearly as you drown in your self....I am here...enfolding...foretelling of the beauty yet to come in your life....I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love you.....now love you....
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08:24 pm
[Link] | I think I am going to start writing again for shits and giggles....just fyi be prepared
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09:56 pm
[Link] | An utterance
begining to slowly tear me asunder
Each breath heavier then the last
Numbness enters my limbs
I don't know where I am
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09:41 pm
[Link] |
wasss up
I am bored really have nothing to do what sooo ever....by updating i am trying to kill time.....hmmm...also because slyph of a girl ntoiced how I had not updated since Jan. 6 soo I thought what the hell...This will probably be the last one in a while..this is really for shits in giggles..FYI Sufjan CD dropped of the faced of the earth (a.k.a my jeep) I have a feeling it is in a dance hall CD case...Or something I want it back Jackson and CHICAGO BACK...Like I tore edward (jeep) up,..no where to be found...it was a good day cant wait for tomorrow...
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09:59 pm
[Link] |
Back to The Basics
First day back and I can feel the stress, regret, and self dissapointment settling in....In a more positive light the boy that I shall refer to as Azure Eyes...We may have coffee sometime soon...Just to talk his personality compels and intruiges me (not to mention atracts)...The though of his smile warms me..I missed every one so much...I really did.....truly...Though I don't know If my Depression has come back....It may be due to the fact that I am listening to Mia Doi Todd-"Muscle, Bone, and Blood"
Here is a small taste:
" I am Human Being..... I am made of Muscle, Bone, and Blood.......I'm Full Of Awful Feelings Self hatred and mistrust...I need you now to be here with me...I can not reach the light...I need you now to believe in me...Been giving up the fight"
Love,
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08:57 pm
[Link] |
My sonnet
My sonet by request of my lover lady (well one of them)
But she knows who she is...... LOOOOOVEE
( I took my Poems off b/c someone was telling that it was a bad Idea because people could just copy them)
About the same person shhh... Im such a marose teenage girl
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08:38 pm
[Link] |
OK Umm I am a Loser
Ok I am going to do something so stero-typical of live journal-ers(?)..(It is now a word)
I am going to Put the Poem we had to do in english with the 6 words
Tell me how you really feel what you liked what you didn't I can take it (Strong Zander...Strong Zander **weeps** )
Here goes:
Glistening and burgundy, apples
The color seems to drip
my touch brings color
to cascade off the fruit
across veins and over eyes
as a box cutter to my reality
cutting away rational
his name shimmering across synapscies
A glint off a meat cleaver
Come awake in the parking garage
“Caleb?”
My six words were 1. meat cleaver 2. caleb 3. touch 4. apple 5. box cutter 6. parking garage
If you want to see the first 4 lines of my sonet comment that you would like to see them
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12:23 am
[Link] |
Finally
I am currently at Matt's apartment...On a school night........(oooo naughty)......So To night is the first night that i haven't been to tierd or sick or depressed...I have to make like eight CDs when I get home.....I got some nice new razor blades like one to two weeks ago...they are heavy duty..(dont even feel it)...I plan I useing them in some art and blood related way...don't worry this has nothing to do with my angsty-ness (not a word don't care)............Lets just say pain is my thing and my freak flag flys in more than one place ( if you catch my drift).........I have a tendancy to be crude and to go to far...school ends in 3 days
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05:57 pm
[Link] |
If You Like.......
If you like bugs....or bug like things.........you like the macabre-esque art.....The you will enjoy this artist...... http://roo.to/tiltil/ go to the link DO IT THE DARKNESS COMPELLES YOU
(I'M SOOO BORED)
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03:36 pm
[Link] | 
This remined me of the poem below......
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01:08 pm
[Link] |
THE TRAVAIL OF PASSION
When the flaming lute-thronged angelic door is wide;
When an immortal passion breathes in mortal clay;
Our hearts endure the scourge, the plaited thorns, the way
Crowded with bitter faces, the wounds in palm and side,
The hyssop-heavy sponge, the flowers by Kidron stream:
We will bend down and loosen our hair over you,
That it may drop faint perfume, and be heavy with dew,
Lilies of death-pale hope, roses of passionate dream.
-W. B. Yeats
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12:55 pm
[Link] |
NEW FONT
Its amazingly romatic/nosferatu.....Tell me what you think of it
Current Music: Down-Ellen Allien
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10:30 pm
[Link] |
When You Have A Sinus Infection You do Strange Things
Umm...Long time...No blog I guesss....Ugh...My sanity is slipping...what fun...I have basically become a hermit in the recesses of my mind...(I know that I am ever so strange)......I can barely keep my self grounded...This also means listening to Boards Of Canada is somewhat of a bad idea....because essentially it melts your mind and soul into a puddle of light...(I like to fly my freak flag).....And there is a person with eyes of Azure that I would like to lose my self in
Current Music: Farewell Fire- Boards of Canada
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07:35 pm
[Link] |
YOOOYOO
HOOLLA FOR WESSS COAST...YO I'm kikkin' it in Cali more specificly carmel...I MISS Ch'yall soo MUch..I need to Come back to the HOT A ( atlanta)
I HAVEN"T SMOKED FOR 2 WEEKS OMG...I m amzing...SO the pace out here is about the same speed a die'in sloth with 2 limbs...WHich is damn slow..ANy how IM comin' back 29th....GIVE ME a Ring PLEAZEEEEE
Current Music: AnyWeh-Ms. Thing
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09:53 pm
[Link] |
Shout OUT
Yo....YO
It been awhile.....Damn...Life is good..Grades are up...Soo is my heart
I'm such woman....like DAMN...
It cooo doh....I just want to say everyone he I'm close too...I luv u more than u will ever know..I cant put it into words...
Your love is what sustains me..it also guides...Y'all R all soo damn beautiful...**oo im gettin' misty**
Moving on...My life has been soo chill lately..It soo nice
Ive had alot time to my self its given me some time to heal and slow down
Now I spend alot of my time sittin' on my roof at night..Smokin' a clove and listening to
Tweet, Erykah Badu, India Aeri, Martha Redbown,and other such artists
Well I think I goona dip out
catch cha on the flip side
Current Music: Didn't cha kno-Erykah Badu
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04:24 pm
[Link] | O bitch Bring IT I will Take You Out.....
Your want to try me.....
You cant hide from me, So Stop Runnin'....
You Used me..But I Let You But Because I care for You
But Now I wish u would be even More of An JAckass
Soo I could justify All Your Behavoir to my self
Your becomin' sumin' u aint
WHat the Fuck is wit chu
U act like we aint good Enough For u any more
Tell me when u figur out whats wit chu..
But if U try to mess with this Queen Bitch
I'll take u out
I dont kno the meaning of Mercy so u best watch ur ass
So WAKE UP
Before I come over to your house and stick a gun in your mouf
The BADDEST BITCH,
XXX
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08:54 pm
[Link] |
Ursula Rucker Lyric Keep in Mind this is spoken word
Spring time it comes and goes and no one knows the change a seanson
brings
Where do we go from here with all our fears and other stuff life brings
Like
Spring time we come and go and no one knows the changes seasons
bring
Where will we go from here with all those fears and other stuff life brings
Love brings
Was it before or after the rain
That you decided to change
Jump out of the ring
Give up the fight
Give up our lives
Give up our life
All my questions
Your indiscretions
Where did you go
Spring time it comes and goes and no one knows the change a season
brings
Where do we go from here with all our fears and other stuff life brings
Like
Spring time we come and go and no one knows the changes seasons
bring
Where will we go from here with all those fears and other stuff life brings
Love brings
Was it before or during the strom
That you decided
To come in out of the rain
Start placing blame
Start calling names
Start playing games
Stop playing games with my heart
You used to love me
You used to love me
You used to love me
You used to hold me
You used to kiss
You used to love me
Spring time it comes and goes and no one knows the changes a season
brings
Where do we go from here with all our fears and other stuff life brings
Like
Spring time we come and go and no one knows the changes seasons
bring
Where will we go from here with all those fears and other stuff life brings
Love brings
Love brings
Love brings
Artist: Ursula Rucker
Song: Spring
Album: Supa Sista
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07:17 pm
[Link] | "Leaping deep within the deliverance
sex and sin bring
our sin was more like my religion
as we wrote revisions
to the definition
of passion"
song: 7
artist: Ursula Rucker
album: Supa Sista
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09:27 pm
[Link] | Lifes Funny......
It gonna be a long month for me...
I really am soo thankful for my friends with out them i would be a mess and dead
They are my safety net
Their love will always be enough to save me from my self
.....Lately I've been feeling alone in the relatikonship aspect of my life which blows my mind because that goes against alot of what i stand for
Life goes on and so does your love
Current Music: Letter -Macy Gray
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10:27 pm
[Link] | Ok I havent Updated my journal in a while because my LJ is Fucked Up
Today was such a beautiful day even though it was mostly Gray it was still beautiful
so since I'm currently failing 3 class last night I had Use the help of aderal
WOW I was In the Wierdest Mood All day
My mood swings were crazy
But The Highlight of my Day was that I once again Proved my self to the maipulating Caner I am
If u dont kno what im talking about...Its really not that Important....so dont worry
I would just like to say officially that I am The Gay gate way drug...
The Fruit of Temptation If u will
Well I have to Get back to the Life I dont have
Kisses
xxx
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